The American University in Cairo
Maadi, Cairo, Egypt
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I enjoyed writing about Elizabeth Lesser so much last time that I decided to blog another one of her videos this week.
Her talk reminded me of my own experience. Every summer, when I travel home to Texas from abroad, I always spend time with my next door neighbor, a fellow I’ll call “Jim.”
Jim and I are totally different in just about every way you can imagine. He’s spent his life doing very physical work in the great outdoors, and I have earned my living inside, in classrooms, where I use my brain more than my muscles. He joined the military and loves guns and cars and such things. I, on the other hand, enlisted in the Peace Corps and am a pacifist who has happily lived without an automobile for the past seven years now. As you might guess, we are polar opposites when it comes to most political subjects.
Still, every summer, I spend time with Jim, often “shooting the breeze” while we sit on his front porch. For a little variety, we occasionally load up in his Plymouth and drive to a Tex-Mex restaurant for an evening meal of enchiladas and frijoles.
As a result of these experiences, I have learned this lesson about Jim: He’s a really good person. Yes, we may not see eye to eye on all subjects, but that doesn’t mean Jim doesn’t have a whole host of very nice qualities. Of course, I wouldn’t have known these things about my neighbor had I not made the effort to spend time with him. If I had simply judged him, from afar, it’s quite likely that I would have come to any number of erroneous conclusions about him.
I’d like to add one suggestion to Lesser’s list of guidelines to follow when taking “the Other” to lunch. When you’re with that person, look for common ground—it could be something as simple as an activity you both enjoy doing—and build on it. In my case, Jim and I both grew up in Big Spring, Texas, and we’ve found, over the years, that it’s possible for us to spend hours and hours talking about our fondest recollections of the place. This sense of shared history has brought us much closer together than we otherwise would have been.
I agree with Lesser. These are dangerous times we live in. There is way too much “otherizing” going on right now. If we’re not careful, bigotry can become all-consuming and then we’ll find ourselves in a dark place, one hard to escape from.
April 3rd, 2011 at 4:38 pm
I’m getting some good reactions to this piece on my Facebook page, but readers don’t seem interested in posting comments here, though. That’s a shame.